Fear

Fear is strong. It holds you back, ties you up in chains, and consumes you.

The uncertainty, and speculations, and the denials..

The more you try to surpress it, the more it grows. Bigger and bigger till it becomes a ghost of your imagination, lurking in the darkest corners of your mind. Obsession.

And then, you try running. With each step away, it gets closer. Sometimes, just like a game of hide and seek, you stand still and count till 10; when you open your eyes, it is no longer there. It is gone, you think.

But it's there all right, in that sweet hiding spot, just waiting to be found.

I've always thought that the best way to counter my fears is to turn around and look it straight in the eyes without flinching. Stare it down, charge forward, and immerse in it, till it is no longer your master. Till it no longer controls you. Till it is nothing but a fading memory. Eventually, you'll find that Fear really wasn't so big after all.

Fear: Face it, until there's nothing left to face.

wind

I love nights like today, I would almost say tonight is the perfect night; quiet, lonely, reflective. The safety and peacefulness I can never get back home, I'm cherishing every moment of it.

Walking back from the library, this song was on my playlist. The moment I heard it, it touched my heart, deep and tender, because it was as if words were taken from my heart and put in song. It is everything I wanted to express, but could never find the words to.



Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, Daughter and Son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

just a random thought

of all the times i thought i knew love, i really didn't. i think i'll never really truly understand what love is, or maybe realizing that is really all there is to it

because how can you possibly expect to fully understand something so complex and abstract as love?

lemons schemelons

When life throws shit at you, turn it into compost.

happiness

Being happy is a gift only I can give myself. From having to look in the mirror and try my best to smile at least once each day, to greeting random strangers with a cheerful hello, I have come a long way.

I realize now that for once in a long time, I smile not because I have to anymore, but because I am truly happy.

a little smile goes a long way

I'm happy, and I know it.

I keep having to remind myself every single time that if someone doesn't want your help, there's nothing you can do about it, no matter how much you try.

Sometimes I wonder: Who's ego is bigger? Not wanting to receive help even in desperation, or wanting to help although the other party doesn't want you to, maybe because you feel like you can actually change something.

101st post

Oh, what a happy day!

That lovely warm fuzzy feeling inside, like my heart is wrapped in a blanket on a cold, snowy day.

I shall retire to bed now, and fall asleep with a happy, contented smile on my face.

dear juliana

Be your own person, deal with your own mistakes, and let not your decisions be based off others'. Forgiving frees your mind, letting go frees your heart, and having dreams frees your inhibitions. If you will never try to love life and laugh, no one can teach you how to.

emo nemo

some days, you just feel like smiling for no reason :)

i mean, there is a reason, but i'd just like to bask in the happy high.

:)