declaration

I'm prone to being socially awkward and that's probably never gonna change.

I've known it for years now, but instead of trying to cover it up or actively avoiding social situations, for the first time, I am finally coming to terms with it and acknowledging it as part of my personality. I'm never gonna enjoy big social gatherings (maybe once in a blue moon) or love making new friends at parties, and I am okay with that.

Occasionally, I am at a party or big rowdy gathering where I genuinely enjoy the jokes and stories told all around me, and I bask in the fun. Lo and behold, some idiot will have to ruin it all by interrupting my mirth with the age-old "Why so quiet? Not having fun?". Despite my inclination to punch the idiot out cold, I will then spend the next 10 minutes convincing said idiot that I really am fine and enjoying the party and to please leave me alone. However, party becomes pooped and I find myself glancing at the clock with increased frequency after that.

So, yes, I am a social caterpillar who may never turn into a butterfly. But that's okay with me; because if I'm not comfortable in my own skin, who else can I be?