mistakes

Through mistakes, we grow up and learn what not to do, and what to never ever compromise.

growing up

Being called pretty or smart or similar compliments used to mean a lot. Like laughingly brushing it off and denying it kind of a lot. Now, I have come to terms with it and am able to graciously accept it and say thank you. I also realized today that it doesn't mean as much as it used to anymore.

Instead, having a good heart and staying humble is what matters most to me; qualities that I strive to have. And the fruits of the Spirit:
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness, and
Self-control.

Being beautiful on the outside may be an advantage in the real world, but having a beautiful heart is what makes that beauty shine through. I have a long and possibly unending journey ahead of me, full of potholes and poisonous shrubs, but I will never want to stop trying.

Oh, the joys of maturing.

sidenote

Call it growing older or maturing with age, but I have come to a point in my life where little, petty stuff that used to matter, is now nothing more than a sidenote. I guess everyone eventually reaches a point like this in their life, or not.

With my environment and external influences constantly changing, somehow, I feel the need to preserve what's left inside me, to be true to myself, no matter what happens. Honesty, loyalty, and humility.

I have come to realize that the only opinions that matter are the opinions of people who matter to me. Everything else is irrelevant. Or at least I'm getting there.

talk about feelings

Overly sensitive boys are such a pain in the mental butt. Now, if only I could find a way to kick the imaginary butt out of my life forever.

sense

I just realized about 5 minutes ago, that personality and levels of sensitivity play a very important role in the success of a relationship, not only in the boy-girl sense, but also with platonic friendships as well.

Some people value attention above everything else, some value appearance, some value communication, some value physical closeness, some value sucess, drive, and ambition, and many other things, and some, like me, value trust, over everything else.

Argue all you may, but there is no one attribute more important than another. It all depends on your own personality, your upbringing, events that have shaped your life, influences from people who step in and out of your life, etc, and most importantly, that's what makes you your own unique person.

Maybe the key to a solid friendship or relationship is to understand that no two people are the same in this world. Heck, you can come awfully close, but you can never be two exact peas in a pod. There will always be something that seperates you from the other person, or a little thing that annoys you to no end. To understand that there are certain things that you will never understand about a friend or a partner, and ultimately, NOT trying to analyze or rationalize those differences.

And that, is where many (including myself, many times over) fail. Because, in my opinion, that is the hardest (and also most dangerous) part of intimate social interactions.

I just realized a few seconds ago, that I would rather seek personal/intellectual fulfilment in life, rather than social ones. I guess, I always thought of myself as rather 'handicapped' in the social department, but each man to his own. The world may be tough for people like that, but in the midst of a sea of umfamiliar faces, having a few smiling back at me is more than enough.